Domestic Violence - Dating Abuse

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A Dating Video Quiz
What’s Really Going On?

Dating can be exhilarating and all consuming, but it can also be dangerous. One in three U.S. teens experience some form of dating abuse, yet two-thirds never tell anyone. Sometimes they don’t know who to tell or how to talk about it, and sometimes they simply don’t recognize the behavior as abusive.

Watch the short video clips below. Then choose the answer you think accurately depicts the situation. You’ll see what’s really going on, and what you can do to help. At the end, find out how you did.


1. Does this sound like a bad thing, or part of an intense, but normal relationship?

What’s Really Going On?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of controlling behavior. Joe is trying to control Julie with his constant texting, and that’s not ok! There is actually a term for it: digital abuse. A respectful boyfriend wouldn't mind that his girlfriend is out having fun with friends. Joe should trust Julie when she can't text back right away, instead of getting upset. Joe's behavior is a warning sign that this relationship is not healthy. A good friend would let Julie know this, without being judgmental.


2. Teen relationships sometimes include alcohol use and sexual exploration. Was Max right to get annoyed at Carla? Was she leading Max on? Should they even be drinking in the first place?

What’s Really Going On?

The correct answer is 2. This is an example of sexual pressure. Drinking alcohol under the age of 21 is illegal, but even when it happens it's important to know that it's not an excuse for hurtful behavior. Max shouldn't have pressured Carla to have a drink or have sex. It's never ok for someone to do this. Max was out of line, and she has the right to let him know. Carla's friends should support her and let Carla know that it's her decision to have sex when she's ready.


3. Michael may not have ended up with any bruises, but he was physically hurt. Was Shannon just frustrated and showing it the only way she knew how? Was her behavior OK?

What’s Really Going On?

The correct answer is 2. This is an example of physically violent behavior. Both guys and girls can be the victims of abuse. What Shannon did was physically abusive, even if Michael doesn't have any bruises. No one – regardless of gender – deserves to be pushed, threatened, insulted, stalked or hurt. Everyone gets upset, but putting your hands on your partner is never the right way to deal with anger or frustration. A friend would let Michael know he or she is concerned with Shannon's behavior.


4. Is sending a topless picture to your partner a big deal? Doesn’t it seem like a lot of people do this? Is Leah’s friend being manipulated by her boyfriend?

What’s Really Going On?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of manipulation and potential sexting. Sarah's boyfriend is preying on her trust to get what he wants – a naked photo of her. Manipulative behavior is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. A good friend would tell Sarah as much. Sarah should only text photos of herself that she doesn't mind everyone seeing. It's also important to be aware that there are laws about sending nude photos of anyone underage. Even if Sarah took the photo herself, if she is under 18 years old there could be legal consequences.


5. Is Paul in the wrong? Perhaps Paul is still figuring out his sexual identity or feeling insecure in his first relationship, and William should give Paul some slack.

What’s Really Going On?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of insulting and demeaning behavior. Emotional abuse is just as serious as physical abuse and it happens in all types of relationships. Even if William feels relieved to be in a same-sex relationship, if it's not based on respect and equality, it's unhealthy. William has options, like calling or chatting with a peer advocate. A friend of William's would let him know that he deserves a better relationship and that he can talk 24/7 to the advocates at

How Did I Do?

1-2 questions correct: You need to work on identifying key warning signs.
Get informed by watching What is Dating Abuse?

3-4 questions correct: You're on the right track.
Compare yourself to other teens and check out these videos.

5 questions correct: Congratulations! You know what it takes to build a healthy relationship.
Now spread the word, share this quiz. Email

If you or someone you know is in abusive relationship, help is always available at the 24/7 Love is Respect Helpline.

DISCLAIMER: The young people in these videos are actors and their described experiences are not real. But these scenes depict common situations that young people encounter every day.

Quick Escape

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

National Dating Abuse Helpline 1.866.331.9474, text "loveis" to 22522 or chat online at 



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